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When to ask for help

12 February 2012

When to ask for helpKnowing when to ask for help is critical to anyone’s survival, regardless of goal. It’s also one of the hardest thing to do for those of us with strong egos or those of us with control issues. Those two things can be one in the same. Depends.

Strong willed men and women can be hardwired as such, like the Alpha types, and/or they could have been raised or trained in such a way as to not be dependent on another in order to get the job done.

Men get taught this frequently as boys, and some like me, a Marine, are trained to overcome no matter what. We had the support of a team but the team was strong because each one of us would never give up, no matter the size of the obstacle or perceived inability to succeed.

We’d press on blindly, regardless. Due to this mindset, we (I) have had a very hard time asking for help in the past for different things.

You may have no problem whatsoever asking for help in other areas of your life but where you might need it most, in order to survive, is in building your business and sharing your message.

Bottom line, you must learn to ask for help

You must acknowledge to yourself that you can’t do this all alone.

You must understand that YOU are not the best person to be doing every job required to get your vision off the ground. Realistically, this will be true for most of what has to happen to build your show.

You MUST get others involved who are better at different parts of the process than you to help you make the whole thing come to life. You’ll win on a much bigger scale and you’ll do so much faster than if you relied on just yourself.

But ask carefully

  • Don’t throw in the towel entirely, thinking that you need a super staff of folks who are masters at their trades, in order for you to get anywhere at all.

    You have power, just as you, with just your skills. The point is to remain focused on just those skills and let others do the same in support of your mission with just THEIR skills.

    Do it all as you go but keep your antennae up for the next key player who’ll help remove some of the burden from your shoulders, as well as improve what you’ve already built.

  • Be careful in how you ask for help, who you pick to ask, and when it is that you decide to ask them, once you’ve decided that you’ve found a potential winner.

    Positioning still matters here. You need to expose a vulnerability in your plan but do so in a protected fashion. Share the situation of needing help from this person but don’t come across as the weaker side in the venture.

    A new partner or associate is going to want to see that you’re strong and smart as you ask for their participation.

    Since it’s your plan, you need to still be viewed as a strong leader, even if they’re to take over half of what you’re doing. This will reassure them that they are making an intelligent move by joining you.

  • In relation to what I’ve just stated above, I have known a few folks who’ve gone for that help in areas they were not best suited to handle, and the person they chose recognized their weaknesses in more areas than the one that started the conversation.

    That new partner then swooped in and usurped control of the entire company from that unsuspecting business person.

    I’ve seen this happen to a few inventors that I’ve known, in particular. It was heart breaking to witness. Be careful with your selection process, timing, and positioning.

But don’t let fear keep you from reaching out to the right entity either

As you can see, this is a dance, as are many parts of what I share on this site. It may go smoothly for you, especially with someone like me guiding you, or you may learn a few important lessons the hard way. My aim is to help you do it the smooth way.

Return to “Surviving Life“

The photographer of this post’s featured photo: unsplash-logoCristian Newman

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