Just finished reading Marc Maron’s book “Attempting Normal”.
Lots of parallels twixt our two worlds.
One day, I’m really gonna go way deep with my Maron-thoughts. I love the man.
But for now, his book, particularly one of the last chapters, really did a great job of describing the journey I’ve been on as I attempt to define myself, what I do, and for whom.
Some of us are unclassifiable
Because we’re in little known or nonexistent categories.
This is exacerbated by the fact that whenever we are in something identifiable, we don’t inhabit it for long. Or it simply gets integrated with something larger than itself.
We change gears too much. Or we work in areas most do not and probably never will.
I’ve never fit in.
I know I am far from alone with this. It’s just a part of the Human Condition: the sensation that we are apart from all around us.
It causes unnecessary pain and keeps people from growing.
But it’s also what drives the way we present ourselves to the world, allowing us to find where we fit best.
And the fight to rectify the one, as we define the second, is where the magic lies.
But as far as indexing a personality based on what that person does for a day, or is trying to do, I haven’t run across many others who see things the way I do.
And these names, when viewed as the perspectives I mean for them to represent, have a basis in comedy.
For awhile, I thought I wanted to be a comedian
I love everything about the type of lives that create a comedian’s career.
Well, admire and respect might be more correct.
I am actually in love with the perspectives they’ve gained from surviving their lives.
It’s their mindset, their way of perceiving all they’ve experienced that really touches my soul.
It’s hard, doing what they do.
It takes a lot of faith, an ability to mentally handle the constant humbling of one’s ego, a fortitude to persevere in the face of little, no, or negative results.
And this has been my journey, in relation to defining my career, even though it’s never had “comedian” as its hoped for end result.
But comedy has definitely played a part
I use my sense of humor to get people on my side. Always have.
But unlike when I was younger, it’s no longer out of defense or desperation.
Now it’s more of a laughing to avoid crying. Or laughing in spite of the absence of much evidence of success as I go.
And over time, I’ve relied heavily on my humor to get myself into otherwise inaccessible worlds.
To get the help of people stronger than me in many areas, at no cost.
To be a part of larger productions, in order to learn the inner workings.
To get the disgruntled types, whose job it was to help me, do their job with more zeal and zest than they’d normally be able to conjure in their workaday lives.
Why did this even have to be so?
Back to the convoluted career search
It’s oh so hard to get much of anything done, once you’re defined as undefinable.
I’ve had 40 jobs. I was good to great at most of them, yet hated all but one.
All I’ve really been is a varied pack of skill sets and experiences wrapped in a unique perspective.
That is where my value is. That’s where all of us find our value.
But it needs a name so that others can understand why, and if, they should work with us.
And naming my “it” has been a struggle.
Not knowing at all where I was headed, I reached out for help
I’ve used every single government, veteran-based, social, medical, fraternal, mentorial, non-profit, communal, and “Our Gang” type of aid that I could find (or unearth–for the ones who had more to give than they even realized), in order to find the “thing” it is I do that someone else would be willing to pay for.
All of these entities had something helpful to add. But their efforts only provided me with more of the pieces, not the overall picture.
It’s taken every ounce of faith I could manifest, just to keep going in the face of this foggy mission statement of a life.
In the end, I sort of gave up and restarted.
And created Ken’s Road Trip as the answer and as a way to better find the answer.
What’s going to come from it?
Well, therein lies the magic. Or at least the potential for it.
I leave it up to you to see the direct links, read between the lines, or make connections between all my parts and tell me what you’d like to do with me next; what you’d like for me to do for you next.
But I do have solid help for you right now
- I know a shit ton about fixing a broken life
- I know how to make a noise, if you already know what your thing is
This is all about faith and patience.
And I am learning, like never before, how to build both, by learning from the comedians.