(First Published: Apr 23, 2007)
Ya like that subject line?
De Niro, from Taxi Driver, of course.
I can never have enough De Niro in my life.
Were I to go all Pagan and worship another person, it’d be him.
I want to dig into negative self talk.
Very destructive habit this. I was great at it myself. I spent years repeatedly confirming to myself how fucked my life was. And it was.
But I was making sure it stayed that way through all that negative reinforcement.
See, the subconscious is a tool
It takes what you tell it, verbatim, and works hard to bring you that very thing.
- If you think that people are generally good for the most part, you will find that strangers and friends do nice things for you on a consistent basis.
- If you think everyone’s out to get you, you will find that you are frequently being taken advantage of and let down by others.
Your mind will bring you whatever it is you talk to it about. It doesn’t know any better.
It doesn’t know what your intent is, what you really mean.
That’s why negative self talk is so destructive. And I was a master of it. I’d complain out loud and to myself all day long about what sucked in my life.
But the night, when I was trying to fall asleep, is when the tidal wave of disastrous thoughts would hit me.
Without any activity to occupy or deflect my thoughts, I was free to wallow like a sow in the filth of my failed goals and disappointments.
Brutal imagery but dead on.
I couldn’t stop myself, nor did I know for a long time that I should be trying to stop myself.
In my search for life improvement, I came across the info that we should not do such things to ourselves many times. But the bipolarism really made any attempt at fixing this problem futile.
It was out of my hands even though I knew I had to quit it. You are not in control of your mind when bipolarism is in charge. You just aren’t
Using the steps in my system “It Takes Guts To Live Well” I was able to slowly take charge of my own thoughts.
I had to focus on stopping bad thoughts as soon as I realized they were about to take place.
I was unable, in the beginning, to replace them with good. I just constantly warred with the bad. Just told myself to go somewhere else mentally.
I knew I had to begin replacing the bad with good. But that proved to be tricky.
Your subconscious cannot be tricked, even as you trick yourself consciously.
What I mean is this: You must think positive thoughts as soon as you detect useless bad thoughts beginning.
But – you must believe what you are telling yourself.
Without belief your subconscious keeps right on bringing the bad into your life.
It simply doesn’t know any better.
This is why I have always had a problem with affirmations. I believe they are good but too many people say them without conviction.
They want to mean what they say. But underneath they have already given up, even as the words fall from their lips.
It’s hard to gain that belief. I know.
So the first thing you need to do is remove all negative words from your self talk.
You can’t say what you don’t want. The subconscious only hears the subject. If you say you don’t want to be broke, you most definitely will stay broke. That was my most common self talk topic.
Instead, tell yourself you are finding a source of income in the best way you can and your needs will be taken care of.
I like to go one step further and get cocky about it.
Screw this! My money is being handled! My bills are being paid!
Things like that.
Verb tenses come into play.
I know you’re supposed to phrase everything in the present tense, as if it is taking place the way you want right now.
It’s a little weird to talk to yourself in such a way but give that a try too.
I can only share what’s been working for me up to this point. I always have to work on improving same as everyone else.
I’m better, hugely so, but I want even more quality in my life than I have now. And I know I will.
I get proof each day that my life continually improves so I know this stuff works.
So watch what you’re telling yourself in your most vulnerable moments. If you tell a kid all his life that he is no good, chances are he will become a criminal.
Your subconscious is your kid. Build your kid’s personality the way a proper parent would.
The photographer of this post’s featured photo: Mantas Hesthaven
