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Recovery: Life After Bipolar Disorder

Recovery: Life After Bipolar Disorder
Recovery: Life After Bipolar Disorder
The recovery years directly after bipolar disorder were filled with prolific writing for me.

I wanted to make clear all that I’d survived, now that I had some sanity and perspective.

I wrote all these arts during 2007-2008

You’ll notice how I had more of a flow state to my writing, which was how my head was working then.

Lotta long sentences broken up with a lot of commas. Smooth transitions were sometimes non-existent.

Because…

Recovery meant less intense or less episodes of mania, not an end to it

I’ve always been a bit wired for sound at all times, and I’ve come to understand that this can be its own normal, not to be confused with a symptom of bipolar.

Back to the articles…

The word choice was often cruder and punchier. It reflects the Younger Me quite well. Nothing wrong with that. It was what it was. But I’ve smoothed out my approach a hair.

I was still a hyper-fast thinker at this time too, with a volume of info I found hard to meter out in small batches.

Little has changed there. I just became a better editor. 😉

In that vein, I cleaned up some of the material below to help make the points clearer. And hopefully to add some semblance of logic to each article’s story line.

But it’s about 95% just as it was first written.

It gives you an idea of what my mind in recovery was like as wellness took hold

This is a period that can be filled with hope, or one that causes more trauma in the form of unmanageable new experiences. The “newness” can send some people running straight back the way they came, as that’s a known entity and less frightening.

Matter of fact, one of the articles addresses this very fact.

So, it’s important for all the players to see what may be coming for them, in order to react and adapt accordingly.

These writings also show you how my writing’s improved, for those of you looking to maybe share your own messages with the world one day.

Passion alone will not be enough to create a well received message, regardless of intent.

People need to be able to grasp what you’re saying, picture themselves using what you share, and trusting that you are the one they should be following to do so.

Tall order and one I am constantly fighting to improve upon.

So why did I really write all these words, way back then?

The point of all of this material was to talk about bipolar from the stance of one who’s beaten it–something I’d seen little of during my research years.

Someone in active recovery.
Without meds and without symptoms.

Not COPED with it. REMOVED it.

  • I also wanted to help the non-mentally ill come to understand a little better what bipolar disorder felt like.
  • And I wanted the ones who were in it to see that I knew where they were coming from.

But this is my past

I no longer focus exclusively on the role bipolar played in my life. Doing so had led me down some unforeseeably tricky roads and gained me more problems than positives.

However, I wanted to leave the info available for any who needed it, while allowing myself room to keep growing and increase the scope of who I helped.

So I adjusted my approach to fold my bipolar experiences and lessons into a broader approach; one that lets me help not only bipolar people, but also those who are hurting, yet not in such peril.

People who might even be experiencing their own recovery from something else entirely, yet wish to know someone, somewhere made it out of some sort of shit in one piece, thereby giving them hope that they might too.

Because if I walked away (so to speak) from the list of problems below, imagine what I might be able to help you overcome!


Bipolar Amplifies The Pain Of Dreams Unfulfilled

Bipolar Amplifies The Pain Of Dreams Unfulfilled

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) One of the causes of bipolar disorder is the unmet desires within one’s heart. This may sound a bit too New Age for some but ...
Driving A Vehicle As A Bipolar Person Is Quite The Adventure!

Driving A Vehicle As A Bipolar Person Is Quite The Adventure!

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Driving a vehicle as a bipolar person is quite the adventure! There are so many ways in which to malfunction during driving, as to be ...
Bipolar Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Bipolar Is The Gift That Keeps On Giving

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) There is no end to how many ways bipolar alters, disrupts and destroys the lives of those who suffer and those who try to support ...
Even In The Worst Of Tragedies Lies The Seed Of Opportunity

Even In The Worst Of Tragedies Lies The Seed Of Opportunity

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Even in the worst of tragedies lies the seed for opportunity. I am the living, breathing example of this tenet brought to life. My existence ...
Bipolar And Negative Self Talk

Bipolar And Negative Self Talk

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Negative self talk. Very destructive habit this. I was great at it myself. I spent years repeatedly confirming to myself how completely screwed my life ...
Fighting Bipolar Makes You Eligible For A Combat Ribbon

Fighting Bipolar Makes You Eligible For A Combat Ribbon

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) When my bipolar disorder was active I was too busy fighting it to realize how much I was fighting. The amounts and variations of symptoms ...
Bipolar Is A Bear Of An Illness

Bipolar Is A Bear Of An Illness

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Bipolar is a bear of an illness. It’s assaultive. It hammers away at your underpinnings. It wears you down even when it has you charged ...
How Can I Hurt Thee? Let me Count The Ways

How Can I Hurt Thee? Let me Count The Ways

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) There are many ways bipolar disorder presents itself and a plethora of unwanted life situations that it causes. If you recognize some of them it ...
Bipolar Is A Many Headed Hydra

Bipolar Is A Many Headed Hydra

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Bipolar is persistent in its attack on quality of life. Like the hydra, chop off one head and two more grow back in its place ...
Shut Up And Take Yer Pills!

Shut Up And Take Yer Pills!

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) I’m not against medication for bipolar disorder per se. But I’m against ignorance. And if you think medication is your only route to relief from ...
Bipolar Is A Full Time Job

Bipolar Is A Full Time Job

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) I spent some time on a forum for bipolar folks awhile ago. I took eight hours to go through every reply to a post regarding ...
Some More Samplings From The Bipolar Party Platter

Some More Samplings From The Bipolar Party Platter

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Fighting against bipolar disorder is like playing a terminal game of Whack-a-Mole. You smash one symptom and another takes its place just to the side ...
Ya Like Challenges? Be Bipolar For A Day!

Ya Like Challenges? Be Bipolar For A Day!

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Bipolar disorder tests your mettle as a human being. It takes you to the utmost limits of your psychic endurance. Oftentimes, your physical parameters are ...
Bipolar Steals Your Very Life From You

Bipolar Steals Your Very Life From You

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Bipolar steals your very life from you. It can sneak up in subtle fashion causing your life to crumble apart one piece at a time ...
Feel like saving your life?

Feel like saving your life?

(First Published: Jan 22, 2008) So I'm digging around the website of the company that is most responsible for saving my mind and I see they've been busy little bees ...
This Guy Is A Serial Killer

This Guy Is A Serial Killer

(First Published: Feb 2, 2008) And now, in back handed compliment news: This guy is a fucking serial killer! He is gonna sit there and drink, until he fucking snaps ...
Had to kick it up a notch!

Had to kick it up a notch!

(First Published: Feb 18th, 2008) Welcome to my new blog. The old one had certain limitations that required me to start fresh. But enough boring crap. Let’s take a look ...
Some Musings On My Sanity

Some Musings On My Sanity

(First Published: Apr 15, 2007) I'm finally writing my first blog. I am so packed with things to talk about I hardly know where to begin. But some time back ...
We all need to chill out sometimes. But I do it better than most.

We all need to chill out sometimes. But I do it better than most.

(First Published: Apr 20, 2007) I had a chat today with a friend I haven't seen in many years. My friend was interested in how I got better. She was surprised by ...
Semper Fi, Ernie! We are brothers 'til death!

Semper Fi, Ernie! We are brothers ’til death!

(First Published: Apr 21, 2007) Everybody should have the kind of friends that Marines are to each other. I had just sent a copy of my book to one of my ...
You talkin' to me?! You must be talkin' to me!

You talkin’ to me?! You must be talkin’ to me!

(First Published: Apr 23, 2007) Ya like that subject line? De Niro, from Taxi Driver, of course. I can never have enough De Niro in my life. Were I to ...
My Mom and David Lynch. A schizophrenic entry for the Good.

My Mom and David Lynch. A schizophrenic entry for the Good.

(First Published: Apr 28, 2007) So I have this mini collection of potential blog entries to deal with. I could go for miles on any of them and probably will ...
I could've joined any branch but I am SO GLAD I picked the Marines!

I could’ve joined any branch but I am SO GLAD I picked the Marines!

(First Published: May 01, 2007) I've been trying to think what to say about the parts of being a Marine that I did enjoy and am still proud of to ...
I suppose if I must be compared to someone I could do worse than Da Vinci

I suppose if I must be compared to someone I could do worse than Da Vinci

(First Published: May 09, 2007) Didn't follow my own advice so I am now rewriting the entire blog post I just accidentally erased. I'm torn between thermonuclear rage at my ...
Ronda's my mentor so when she says, "Get on it!" I get on it!

Ronda’s my mentor so when she says, “Get on it!” I get on it!

(First Published: May 16, 2007) Man, I'm floating. Just got done meditating and I'm loose. My breathing and mindset are both smooth like a Seven and Seven or a nice ...
The mini-deaths

The mini-deaths

(First Published: May 17, 2007) Boy, tonight was sweet, sweet stuff! Just got back from the ER. This is my second ER trip in three weeks. Panic was involved both ...
Life can just HAPPEN or you can MAKE it happen!

Life can just HAPPEN or you can MAKE it happen!

(First Published: May 21, 2007) Lots going on for Kenny lately! I hardly know where to start. Had a nice weekend with my boy. He's five and just lost his ...
Hearts of Darkness

Hearts of Darkness

(First Published: May 27, 2007) Have a look inside the mind of a demented soul (former). Mine. I wanted to share another common pain I lived with for years that ...
I know a thing or two about a thing or two

I know a thing or two about a thing or two

(First Published: May 29, 2007) That's a great line by De Niro from "This Boy's Life". What a poor construct of a human being De Niro was in that flick ...
Career history Part Two - Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

Career history Part Two – Busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest

(First Published: Jun 01, 2007) This is the continuation of my employment history tale of woe. Just shy of tearing the boss' head off at the snack food distribution company, ...
And in conclusion....Ascension Celebration

And in conclusion….

(First Published: Jun 04, 2007) Right about the time I quit attempting to reach my salvation through Amway is also right about near the end of the concrete mechanic job ...
Just how bad can bipolarism get? Why, I'll show you! Part One.

Just how bad can bipolarism get? Why, I’ll show you! Part One.

(First Published: Jun 09, 2007) People read my stuff for different reasons but I have to stay true to the main purpose: helping "normal" people understand what it means to ...
Just how bad can bipolarism get? Why, let me show you! Part Two

Just how bad can bipolarism get? Why, let me show you! Part Two

(First Published: Jun 12, 2007) Unbelievable yet true. I did it again. Wrote out a HUGE post, previewed it, saw an error, hit the back button…gone. One hour's work. Toast ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I'll show you! Part Three

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Three

(First published: Jun 14, 2007) First a mention on a recent reunion. Tom, the friend I joined the Marines with way back in 85, just found me through a Marines ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I'll show you! Part Four

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Four

(First published: Jun 16, 2007) Man! This is tough for me to slog through this list. It's a depressing endeavor. But again, that's the point. Two points actually! If it's ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I'll show you! Part Five.

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Five.

(First published: Jun 20, 2007) Well, for those of you this pertains to, I hope you had a great Father's Day! I did! My brother, father, and I went and did some ...
Let's momentarily break for some light-hearted war tales!

Let’s momentarily break for some light-hearted war tales!

(First published: Jun 21, 2007) This was making itself known so I had to write about it. The following is one of the funniest (to me) and, simultaneously, darkest moments ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I'll show you! Part Six

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Six

(First published: Jun 24, 2007) And we're back! Part six of bipolar symptomatology. I was just talking to a new neighbor recently and he gave me his understanding of what ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I'll show you! Part Seven.

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Seven.

(First published: Jun 29, 2007) I'm just about done with this list. There's no way I'd have even been able to remember that I once lived all this, if not ...
Too close to the 4th. Can't go dark just yet.

Too close to the 4th. Can’t go dark just yet.

(First published: Jul 03, 2007) I am looking forward to finishing the symptomatology series but it's heavy material. We're going into a holiday, so instead, I want to reprint a ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I'll show you! Part Eight.

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Eight.

(First published: Jul 09, 2007) So I've been a little busier than normal today/night. Made my second video. But this was actually the first blogging video, so it will be ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Nine.

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Nine.

(First published: Jul 14, 2007) I SOOOOOO want to finish this list! One post after this and it's done! But first...had quite a battle with Movie Maker trying to upload ...
What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Ten.

What does it feel like to be bipolar? Why, I’ll show you! Part Ten.

(First published: Jul 19, 2007) So, I've been nursing this torn up elbow along (not to mention other maxed out joints) and my lifting is finally getting back to normal ...
Addictions: What's yer poison?

What’s yer poison?

(First published: Jul 25, 2007) I've been kicking around the idea of digging into addiction. It was a massive, and I mean massive, part of my life for decades. Ever ...
Truehope: Heal gut health to heal mental health

Do NOT ignore this vital bipolar/depression tip

(First published: Aug 03, 2007) I'm sure many of you can tell or know personally that I love to write. I love to blog in particular. You know I have ...
Go easy with the Bean

Go easy with the Bean

(First published: Aug 12, 2007) I like coffee. Scratch that. I LOVE coffee! But coffee doesn't always love me back. This is such a common enough item in most people's ...
It ain’t all about "We, the Sick". Give your family a break.

It ain’t all about “We, the Sick”. Give your family a break.

(First published: Aug 18, 2007) I pulled together some random thoughts out of the ether and from some letters I've received. Bipolar and depression really does a number on the ...
Normal people can be nuts when dealing with bipolar folks

Normal people can be nuts when dealing with bipolar folks

(First published: Aug 22, 2007) Someone’s got to say something about this so I guess it'll have to be me. I never could shut up when told to. There is ...
The good within the dark

The good within the dark

(First published: Aug 30, 2007) Some of you guys got me to thinkin' about the potential good in having bipolar. Well, there's no good in having it. But for some ...
How did I miss these show stoppers?

How did I miss these show stoppers?

(First published: Sep 8, 2007) In ten past posts, I covered over 100 specific symptoms I and others have experienced. I shared how I have lived almost every single entry ...
You can beat me, you can wound me, you can kill me. Just don’t bore me.

You can beat me, you can wound me, you can kill me. Just don’t bore me.

(First published: Sep 19, 2007) I'm paraphrasing Clint in "Heartbreak Ridge" but the sentiment is true. I'm heading in a slightly new direction today. I truly believe that boredom can ...
I’d have worked at this a lot harder had I seen the memo

I’d have worked at this a lot harder had I seen the memo

(First published: Oct 03, 2007) Let's step into the light for once; the light side of what my system has brought to me. This way you might understand more fully ...
What are we, chopped liver?

What are we, chopped liver?

(First published: Oct 10, 2007) I'm wondering how many of you out there have been fortunate enough to go to an Emergency Room due to panic. Mood swings will put ...
Why stop at OK when Ecstatic is just round the bend?

Why stop at OK when Ecstatic is just round the bend?

(First published: Oct 18, 2007) So many powerful topics surrounded what is currently on my mind that I could hardly figure out the subject line! Mostly, I'm thinking of the ...
Accelerate your mad dash back to normal

Accelerate your mad dash back to normal

(First published: Nov 14, 2007) Training your way back to fitness and better head health is not as severe as many of you make it. You start small and reasonable and ...
Bipolar Is Not A Stand Alone Problem

Bipolar Is Not A Stand Alone Problem

(First published: Sometime during 07-08) Bipolar is not a stand alone problem in its own right. A lot of factors go into its eventual arrival in your life. Because of ...
Some insight and help for demon management

Some Insight And Help For Demon Management

(First published: Dec 14, 2007) An underlying fear of life can be both a problem by itself and also lead you into destructive lifestyle practices.  This can include drinking your way to ...
Time is your most precious asset

Time Is Your Most Precious Asset

(First published: Dec 27, 2007) Do you realize that time is the one thing you can never replace and you only have just so much of it? It is a ...
Bob Dylan wasn’t considering bipolar when he wrote "Everybody Must Get Stoned"

Bob Dylan Wasn’t Considering Bipolar When He Wrote “Everybody Must Get Stoned”

(First published: AUG 2, 2007) Rough start today. Body's pretty tore up from yesterday's exertions on the iron pile. I've been utilizing a system of lifting then stationary biking to ...

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