The strength gained from ownership of all that is right and all that is wrong in your life, cannot be valued highly enough.
To simply accept that all that happens within your existence is of your own doing, is to accept great power and rewards into your life.
Your world will change for the better, the quicker you get your head around my next statement:
Your problem is not “out there.” It’s “in here”.
Any problem you have is of your own making, even when it seems to have been placed upon you by someone or something else. That is a very hard thing to accept.
If an airliner drops from the sky on to your house, how is that an “in here” type of problem? Well, this gets very metaphysical and I don’t want to go that deep right now.
Suffice to say, you decided one day to live where you lived when that plane hit you. It’s not your fault. It’s not the pilot’s fault. A truckload of “right or left” decisions led up to that plane hitting your house.
Did you NOT make the decision to live there? That’s how it’s not the plane’s fault. Did you know ahead of time that this event might one day happen? Of course not.
But then again, you know something could always happen of a nature you wished hadn’t. Any time. Anywhere. That is just life. In your case, that turned out to be a plane dropping on your house.
Here’s a short list of ways to shape your reaction to such events:
How you react is the only thing in life that you can control
And learning to temper, direct, and groom the way you react in order to be proactive and solve your problems, is not just the only true strength you really have in this life…it’s the strongest of any other strength you care to measure.
Because, just like the bumper sticker says, shit really does happen. Bad things happen to good people.
This is a very hard concept to grasp and then act upon. I can’t constantly apply it to my own life, even to this day, and I became aware of the need to do so almost ten years ago.
The only thing I can tell you is that once you accept this as truth and realize absolutely everything in your life is of your own making, your life really does start getting quite a bit better.
And when you do get taken by surprise in some hideous fashion, and it does seem like someone or something else has royally screwed you, you stop feeling mad or sorry for yourself and start taking repair-type action, much faster than when you first began.
Bottom line: you rid yourself of that “victim mentality” when something goes wrong and this enables you to fix the new problem a whole lot faster than ever before.
You become proactive
Proactive people get things done; for themselves and for others for whom they may be responsible.
When you stop laying blame and just begin the problem solving process, as soon as possible in any given situation – good or bad – you put power back into your life.
You don’t skirt your responsibilities. You don’t make excuses. You don’t give up and say “That’s life.” You don’t fight back from a revenge mindset when someone wrongs you.
You just take the next smartest move to resolve the situation, taking into account whatever part you had in its development and taking into account how your response will affect all those around you. Then you get busy making lemonade out of lemons.
Again, is this an easy way of life to adopt? No. Big ass capital “N” no. But begin, you must. (I’m sure Yoda had something to say about this while Luke was whining.)
However, becoming this way also makes you responsible for the wins. You’ll become the guy or girl whom others think is “lucky” or “gifted” or “blessed.” You’ll become the Golden Boy or Girl at your company. Your life will be filled with more joy and successes when you take charge in the negative moments.