It’s been something else trying to pin down how to proceed next.
And that reality has been one that’s dogged me for all the years since I stopped actively promoting my bipolar work.
Reasons why I stopped are many. But here are the biggies:
I beat it. Repeatedly addressing it was keeping me from seeing more for myself than simply being someone who survived something.
It was taking away from my ability to stay well too. Don’t get me wrong. I most assuredly beat bipolar. But how that is, is a thing that must be maintained. I shape my world to keep whatever drives bipolar from ever getting the upper hand on me again. (It works very well, I might add.)
I never monetized that work well. This is something all info creators face. Some handle it better than others. I was an “other”.
Without realizing it or meaning to, I’d positioned myself as a therapist or mental health counselor. This placed me in an incredibly dangerous legal position. It also led me to give advice that I wasn’t qualified to give, well intentioned or not.
I couldn’t really see any way to earn a living from this except as a coach of some sort, something I learned right away was a huge drain on my mental and spiritual energies. I truly care about those who seek my help. But I’m just not that guy. I’m more of a generalist. I point the way to the deeper help.
I was so hard core about how I’d beat the disease, why, and what it all meant, that I didn’t realize I was being narrow minded…and sometimes…ignorant to much about the world of bipolar.
So I walked from all of this and have been doing an incredible array of interesting projects with other people for all sorts of cool reasons.
And none of it is getting me much more than a hair closer toward supporting my family well.
So, after more deep thought than words can do justice, I am deciding to refocus on bipolar, both in an attempt to still help those folks, as well as reach anyone not bipolar who can also find great use from my work.
I want to be seen as the “what came after” guy in the fight against bipolar.
I think I have to. I think I can’t avoid it. I think something inside me is not letting it be ignored.
I also think there is a sort of fear built into this move that I’ve been hiding from. Just took a shit ton of pondering to see it.
But I’ve also figured out how to present all of this in a way that pleases me and lets me lead my life my way. I’ve been writing and designing other systems for becoming more in life, just as I did to beat bipolar.
I think I have a great running start on bridging these two worlds. And I believe my info can be used as a metaphor for anyone else trying to bridge two worlds but for different reasons. And I want my new systems to help those people.
So that’s me. What about you?
Are you hiding from something? Is your inner voice carrying on about something you’ve experienced that you know is important, useful to others, or simply needs to be addressed, in order for you to be whole?
The photographer of this post’s featured photo: Ben White