I’m just not like the other kids
I’m Ken. And I’m a Reluctant Extrovert.
(“Re-what did he just say?”)
Allow me to explain: “Variety” probably describes the main driver in my life more than anything.
And telling flavorful stories about the various events in my life has always been one of my greatest pleasures.
So I’ve learned a lot and I have a lot to say
But I also learned the hard way to make sure that what I say counts and that it’s actually useful to those I’d like to help most.
This became of prime importance to me the older I got because I used to lead with more emotion and less forethought.
Which brought a metric ton of grief my way
This tempered my manic drive to share all that I am. Made me slow my roll and be sure not to shoot myself in the foot quite as much as I’d been doing.
Made me reconsider why I was at all like I was.
I came to realize that I am an introvert with very extroverted ways of expressing myself.
I’m in my head a lot. And when I get a chance to express what my inner travels have shown me, it can come out like a tidal wave.
Because of this, one of my main tasks is to remember to temper my approach to everything I do. Pause a lot.
And to always be on the lookout for tools to help me continually improve in this area.
Yet, I do like me some noise now and then!
There are also times when it’s appropriate to explode or be heavily forceful to get the job done. A soft and gentle touch is just too muted a response in certain instances. Some ass must be handed back to its owners every now and then.
Knowing when to be which guy has taken a lot of studied effort on my part and is an ever ongoing process. The duality of life takes up a lot of my personal computation time.
I’ve always inhabited two opposing worlds
I’m predominantly a Lone Wolf (Introvert):
- I prefer to be alone
- Like my world to be quiet, more often than not
- Love deep thinking
- Love writing and living the Writer’s Life
- Can’t stand the thought of arguing with anyone – about anything
- Enjoy the outdoors
- And find that reading now rates the position that partying used to hold for me
Who sometimes like to howl, hunt, and kill (Extrovert):
- There is an aggressive savage within me, whose energy I aim at getting shit done
- I’m still one of the loudest people my friends and family have ever met
- Not even I know what outlandish crap I might pull to amuse myself in public
- I can laugh myself into fits, especially when watching the darkest of comedians and the wrong-est of shows
- Love working on cool projects with highly energetic folks
- Love being part of a great team of driven individuals
- Easily speak from stage
- Love meeting interesting people.
In my past, being like this caused a tension that ripped me apart
I was plowing too much energy into feeding the extrovert, which was stomping the guts out of my introvert side. Then I’d do introverted stuff that was mostly unhealthy too.
I was living against my own grain but didn’t know it. Didn’t even know the two sides existed as such.
I almost destroyed myself a thousand times over.
Addictions, failed marriages, mental illness and legal woes filled my younger years.
But I beat it all!
I found out what drove me. Came to learn that it could all be fixed if I just changed what I believed about life and changed the story I was feeding myself.
I also learned to stop swallowing stories from others that were not conducive to my success.
Then I crossed into new territory
I did a lot of incredible things, both on my own and with some very amazing people in a variety of areas.
Took a shot at creating businesses around some of it with small to zero success. But I learned a hell of a lot and I had some truly awesome adventures.
I’d extrovertly ran as hard as I possibly could for a bunch of years.
Then I let the Introvert have the reins for awhile
I learned to relax and let the good things come to me, in their own time.
I redesigned all my old work and gained a new understanding of what it all meant.
There was nothing left to do from there but professionalize my approach.
You’re inside the result.
I want to help other people find this type of peace that I’ve found. And I want to ignite some of those adventures again. But calmly.