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PTSD. I’d like to say I didn’t see that one coming, but that’d be a lie.
Similar to bipolar disorder, I think I’ve had some nugget of this following me since my youth.
But the shit I endured during my stay in the Marines helped it come to dark fruition.
PTSD can happen to anyone who’s survived something they weren’t always sure they would
Now, I’m not going to dig into a deep look at PTSD. I can’t. I only know a certain amount and I only know what my experience of it has been like.
The rest I learn from movies, documentaries and hearing the stories from others who’ve popped out the other side of some hell.
The key thing I wanted to shed some light on, was that the vets who might be hesitant to pursue attainment of their rightful compensation should go about doing it ASAP.
If you got fucked up somehow while serving, you probably have some money owed you.
The way I look at it, the government will have absolutely no problem finding some way to spend the money that you felt wasn’t worth securing, should you ignore or downplay the importance of going after it.
Go get what’s yours. If you find you have a problem accepting it, then gift your proceeds to some vet or donate them to any other righteous cause you feel is worthy.
But don’t let the government spend it for you. You already know how much of that can play out.
I’d rather spend it my way.
The episode above isn’t just about PTSD though
I sort of bled into a description of how my head works, in relation to PTSD, and how I feel it can still bring me bullshit, the fault being all mine.
I have a way of being that tends to still bring people into my world who get a wrong impression of what I’m about, or what I can do for them.
They seem to expect miracles from me.
Or they simply want me close at all times. Friends to the end. Something I do with just about no one.
This isn’t their fault. It’s an energy I put out and often feed into when I can’t contain my own excitement.
I can give the impression that we’re gonna be something big together, without first doing my due diligence when vetting a new partner or opportunity.
This creates painful partings and sometimes bad feelings, when I want nothing but the opposite to be true
When you’re an Outsider, you must carefully make your case for whatever it is that you’re pursuing and how that process looks, so people can clearly see their standing within the plan.
That’s only being fair to them.
However, when two Outsiders meet, which happens to me constantly, I feel we both can be blinded to certain facts, because we each want the plan to succeed so badly.
I find, even after all this time, that’s it’s not always easy to achieve. And I wish I could improve faster.
Can you relate?
Sponsor:
- Family Network Chiropractic in Kingston, NY: The only providers of NSA Chiropractic in the Mid-Hudson Valley
Key Points:
- I’m a Marine Gulf War Vet (1991)
- Veterans Disability is not the same as Social Security Disability
- The powers that be say you can’t have both benefits at the same time. Bullshit. You can totally have both simultaneously.
- I tried once to get VA Benefits using the Disabled American Veterans (DAV) but got turned down
- I had to bet a lawyer to win my Social Security Disability. I would not have won my case without him
- If you DO get a disability lawyer, make sure they only get paid if you win, as was the case with my lawyer
- It seems I have some level of PTSD, which I manage right alongside my bipolar-prone potentiality
- My version of PTSD seems to be one focused on keeping the world at a distance
- I can’t just “hang out” if that’s the sole purpose of the gathering
- Small talk makes me want to eat a gun
- I’m loud as hell but I prefer my world to be quiet
- I draw people to me who become deeply attached to me, expecting me to bring all or some of their dreams come true
- I love talking with people but I have a limit and then need to be alone to recharge
- Much of PTSD has the same symptoms as bipolar disorder
- Most of my “problems” are not problems to me. I’m fine with my quirks and eccentricities. But it’s hard for some of those I live with when trying to interact with me
- I’m crystal clear about the fact that it is something about ME that draws certain people to me, whom I wish I didn’t. It’s got nothing to do with them, whatsoever. It’s a set of signals I send that I’m working to identify and change.
Links:
- The Road: The burning down and the rebuilding of my entire life
- VA Claims Pros: VA Claim Pros is a private organization that assists veterans with evaluating their medical evidence and conditions and assists them in evaluating which VA disabilities they may medically qualify for.
- James A. Chisholm: My disability lawyer at Law Offices of Kirk & Teff, LLP in Kingston, NY.
- DAV (Disabled American Veterans): DAV is a nonprofit charity that provides a lifetime of support for veterans of all generations and their families, helping more than 1 million veterans in positive, life-changing ways each year.
- Road Notes #24: The Groovy Folk: Unexpected Fireworks Tent Business Benefits
- OJ POD EPI-2: A fine example of the kinds of people I sometimes STILL draw to me, who eventually begin to eat away at my sanity
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Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Caine.At least one-third of the people we know are introverts. They are the ones who prefer listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams.
Although they are often labeled “quiet,” it is to introverts that we owe many of the great contributions to society–from van Gogh’s sunflowers to the invention of the personal computer. (…Read More On Amazon)
- The photographer of the image at top: Aaron Mello