“You have this…way…of saying things…” That was said to me at the second longest job I ever held (all of 2 years), during the time I was quickly losing my battle with bipolar disorder.
And it was meant as a compliment.
I was working security at a trauma center hospital where I dealt with everything that came into the ER off the very mean streets of a good-sized city many of you would recognize.
I was the guy who would take charge of a crazed individual from the 4-5 (and sometimes more) cops or Troopers who brought him in, and then manage said person alone for the rest of the night.
Calling it an “Exciting” time doesn’t quite do that era justice.
The violence aside, and my deteriorating mental state aside, I always had a knack for saying the most impactful thing at the most opportune, and often inopportune times.
I had a way of saying things.
Interestingly, this knack helped me eventually learn to reach these crazed individuals and speak to them in a way that made them feel heard.
This eventually transformed me into a quasi-professional Patient Advocate, something that colors what I’m doing with all of you here right now.
The resulting clarity helps people better understand what their next step for improving their situation might be.
For awhile, I did this on stage too!
I have no fear of public speaking. I talk to the room as if it’s just one person. I’m always “me”. There’s not a corporate or sales side, or anything else. Just me. Makes things easier for me.
What I came to discover over years of being an outgoing guy and someone eager to hear other people’s stories was that I’d often get treated as an unpaid counselor, often right on the spot.
If I maintained a relationship with that person, they’d come to treat me as someone who would listen to anything at all that they had to say, and this sometimes became a very negative experience for me.
People started to feel free to dump their shit at my feet, not to mention all over my earballs and mind.
It became too much. So I started learning how to not set myself up for this in a way that allowed me to remain caring and empathetic.
I reshaped how I said things, in a way that gave people and me what we both needed out of the exchanges. It allowed me to help them more, while saving me from drowning needlessly in their shit.
And I learned to cut out a certain type of person from my experience entirely; the ones who didn’t really want any help. They just loved the drama of sharing all their pain. Bleh. No thanks.
Get to work fixing your sit or keep your shit to yourself.
This defined Throat Center result on my Chart confirms what I’d already been discovering and adapting to about this part of myself. But it was very calming to see it laid out so.
