Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 24:32 — 34.4MB) | Embed
Maybe I should have used a pic of my posterior, instead of a guy in a cave for this one.
Because I’m gonna do some soul-barin’ here today.
And this may turn out to be my most “Outsider”-ish post yet.
“How far outside of the circle do I travel? How not like the others am I?”
These are some things I often consider about myself. And you may be wondering the same about your situation.
Some Of Us Can’t Do “Normal”, Right?
What might that mean?
For me, as a disabled person, it means I’ve been afraid to admit to anyone that I’m on disability.
– Because I don’t think of myself as “disabled”.
It means I’ve had to stop trying to cover my tracks in social settings and stop trying to “keep up” with the social expenditures in order to save face.
– I did so by disappearing from the grid, almost entirely.
It’s meant shutting down my social life, completely, in order to focus on what you’re looking at right now.
– Because it was the only way I could maneuver the ongoing inner work and create the ever evolving real world face of the wisdom gained from that work.
And it’s meant the loss of some close friends.
– Because climbing a mountain is often a solo venture.
It’s not easy living this life.
Ironically, it’s also not too hard (for me).
The “not easy” part comes from living the way I do and trying not to let it disrupt the way my family lives or how my friends feel towards me.
But some damage is unavoidable.
And honestly? That’s when the Marine in me buckles down for what comes of it all.
I won’t quit. I must be brave. I must bare my soul, leaving me open to attack and judgment.
And I must do all I can to be of value to you, regardless of the negatives some of this puts in my life, by default.
I take pride in my Outsiderness. But I pay a price sometimes to hold that title.
Maybe you do too. If so, you’re one of the people I want to help the most.
Sponsors:
- Family Network Chiropractic in Kingston, NY: The only providers of NSA Chiropractic in the Mid-Hudson Valley
- Maximum Results Fitness w/ Mike Romano: Online Training with Individually Customized Support
Key Points:
- Transparency is what connects us to one another
- I’ve been living in fear of threatening my safety net by being too open
- But without openness, you can’t fully understand why I might be so valuable to you
- And without openness, you won’t feel comfortable telling me your story, which is what I need most of all!
- Some of us are more complicated than most, which interferes with our ability to grow
- I’m stepping out in faith here, so that you may one day be able to do the same with your message
- I am legally disabled but I don’t live a “disabled” life, due to my understanding of my own limits and the ability to control my environment so as to not trigger “the old me” back into being
- There’s a strong chance that you’re gonna have to make some brutally hard choices in order to fulfill your destiny, build your platform and feed your family
Links:
Gulf War Illnesses: Private group on Facebook:
Search for “Gulf War Illnesses” and find group number “125208941896“. Request to join.
I don’t have any GWI but I identify with their mission statement: “I fight for my health every day in ways most people do not understand. I am not lazy. I AM A GULF WAR WARRIOR”
- Patton Oswalt: He hermit-ed for awhile too (albeit in movie theaters)
- It ain’t all about me here: The world needs you and your unique perspective
- Apparently, I was working on this problem already: The fear of doing the right thing
- I am unable to work for anyone for long: Mindset of being unemployable
- If you rate the help, GET IT!: Using all available systems to their max
- WHY I can’t work for anyone for long, even though I’m pretty fucking good at most things
- The photographer of this post’s featured photo: Blake Lisk
