The energy of the past can come pounding to the surface of my mind, heart, and body whenever I retell my bipolar story.
It recently came roaring to the fore in a most unexpected fashion just yesterday.
I met a counselor, in passing, who I’d been hoping to bump into at some point.
I wanted her inner circle opinion on how to make a real world move with the material in my head, beyond what I do on this site.
Because the dream build is taking more cash than I have to complete it.
So I need a certain amount of actual employment, a tricky situation for me for more than one reason. And I’ve wanted a unique position, something that differentiated me from the work of a peer specialist, the only title I could come up with that’s even close to what it is that I do.
And I was struggling to find the type and location of facilities that would allow me to work just as I was, without pigeon-holing me into their definition of the job.
To get this entire point across, I had to share some of my old story. And I got a bit hyped up as I did.
The energy of the past was hitting this poor lady right in the face!
In my defense: I’d begun my day with some tedious, complicated and highly important technical work on my website.
In the process, I’d forgotten all about my NSA chiropractic appointment.
When the receptionist called to see where I was, it put me into a higher level of stress than what I already was experiencing.
On top of that, I’d over-caffeinated, thinking I had two more hours to bleed it all out on the work that needed to be completed, before entering the calm realm of my NSA entrainment.
Now all my tasks got compressed, and the energy began to build
I get to the shop late, so a window was available to work on some of the technical issues within the office. (I am not only my doctor’s web guy but also his I.T. guy.)
This led me down a never ending, ever constant rabbit hole of troubles that the office setup seems to magically create ad nauseum.
So now I’m good and wound. But actually in a great frame of mind.
Off the back of that, I head upstairs to the Little Marine’s Room to empty my bladder (because you needed to see that in print) and I see that the nice counselor is finally in her office at the same time I’m around.
So we meet.
And as best as I can tell, based on her facial expression and body language, I low level fried the ends of her nerves with my overexuberance.
I felt a little stupid
I know I have this potential for mania-like behavior still. I am aware of it and I can stop it. But it always gets loose a bit longer than I’d have liked before I catch hold of it.
Yet, social awkwardness aside, what was most remarkable to me was the awareness of how visceral my feelings became as I spoke about my bipolar-afflicted past.
I’m taken right back to the sensations and the negative emotions, like they never left.
Nothing comes of this, which is a key takeaway for those of you still in the Head Wars.
But they just sort of astound me with the power they still hold when I bring them into the light.
And I believe the nice counselor knew, to some degree, what was happening and cut me some slack.
Or maybe the whole damn thing was only my perception of it and she was just fine.
That’s a thing too, with me. 😉
- Family Network Chiropractic in Kingston, NY: The only providers of NSA Chiropractic in the Mid-Hudson Valley
- I still have some manic tendencies that sometimes spring forth.
- But they’re rare, short-lived, and damage free (beyond a minor amount of embarrassment on my part).
- As opposed to the many dozens of symptoms I once experienced, full bore and at all times, I’ll take a bit of mania once in awhile, gladly.
- If you’re trying to build a career out of what and who you are as a person, take steps to test it wherever someone will let you, but keep an eye on making it a solo act to retain the ability to have a life the way you deserve it to be.
- If you don’t find a way to help people by being your authentic self, people who can only be helped by you will suffer too.
- I’ve been buried in developing the membership aspect of my site
- www.JourneyRecoveryCoaching.com Lucia Davis, MMA, CASAC: Journey 2 Change Recovery Coaching in Kingston, NY
- It Takes Guts To Live Well System: My free course, developed by myself to save myself from bipolar disorder
- It Takes Guts To Live Well: How An Ex-Marine Beat Bipolar Disorder on Amazon
- www.IncomparableExpert.com Jason Leister: His material about personal development, is the only information I make sure to never miss. I read, watch, and listen to 100% of his free info and I buy quite a bit of his paid content too. I wish everyone I cared for most was doing the same.
- Outsiders Support: Everything I offer to help you grow as a person and navigate life’s choppier waters without drowning
- The photographer of the image at top: Angela Compagnone