This one’s going to be a little tricky but “don’t be a victim.”
There’s the happening and there’s the reaction to and how one moves forward from the happening.
This is all about mindset.
There are times in life when all hell breaks loose; when unforeseen accidents occur, when you become the target of a wrathful entity, when your health fails, or whenever anything catastrophically bad takes place, that robs you of most or all of your strength and ability to handle your situation unaided.
There are times when we become victims
This is unavoidable and something in that list will nail all of us at one point or another. Fact of life.
Once one of these things does happen, the job becomes one of recovery.
In many cases, others will have to initiate and maintain the healing process for you, while you lick your wounds and try to get your head around whatever took place.
How long you will be dependent on others for help is unknowable and situational.
Your only job, in the beginning, is to complete the “getting your head around it” phase.
You have to come to grips with what happened so that you can launch a counterattack, fix the wound, learn how to deal with the permanently altered life, or deal with the new issues this “bad thing” has put upon you.
You’re probably still going to need help from others to do this and, again, who knows how long you will need this help, as so many variables apply.
You’ll use this assistance to begin reestablishing your world’s parameters.
Sometimes you can make it like it once was. Often, you’ll have to deal with the New Plan and that’s that.
Regardless of which way it goes, you must get reestablished as a whole person. Or family. Or group. Or business.
That process has to begin.
The problem I’m leading to is in not knowing when you no longer need these other sources of help and not knowing that you’ve wandered into the “permanent victim” mentality.
There can be painful changes that cause one to need some form of assistance forever. A lost limb, blindness, disease that leaves one permanently disabled.
There can be damages suffered legally or economically that can take years to reverse or rebuild.
There can be problems that land you in prison or force you from your home for good.
You may have committed a transgression so harmful that you can never take it back.
Some of these things can never be changed.
But that’s still just the way it is sometimes.
The steps you take to handle these situations is where you can distinguish temporary from permanent victim statehood.
You have to know, in your heart and mind, when it’s time to put your metaphorical foot down and begin to fight in earnest; to repair your life and move on from the damaging event.
The problem is, the pain endured can leave one weak in spirit and unable to recognize when this “line in the sand” moment has arrived.
You get used to getting help and forget what it felt like to stand on your own two feet and make it on your own.
You lose your will to fight and foolishly accept that “this is how it’s always going to be.”
You give up and let others help you…forever
I was there once, for many years. I let it happen until I got my death sentence.
This woke me up and I began to fight back.
It began as a decision to try
It was two years from that point before I knew I had some level of control in my life.
Not a lot, mind you, but not totally helpless anymore, either. And I was gaining steam. Then I just kept going up from there.
We all need help once in awhile and sometimes we need it for many years. And some may need a certain level of help forever.
Just don’t take an ounce more than you need.
And every now and again, try to go for a spell with less help than you’re normally accustomed to receiving. Test out your sea legs, as it were.
Do something on your own, no matter how tiny the event. Achieve a small victory and repeat it, or something like it, as soon as you’re able to try once more.
Then shorten the gap in time between attempts and watch what happens
Clearly, I am referencing battles that start from total wipeout but I’m telling you that it can be done.
What if you’re just a little messed up and you’ve allowed yourself to become “kept” without realizing it?
This can happen with no one else involved. You just stop trying to reach that next level.
So self evaluate.
If you’re not completely shot in comparison to one who is, then what’s stopping you from becoming great at doing whatever it is your heart most desires?
Be honest. Then draw that line in the sand and don’t be a victim any longer.