Outsiders Journey

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Bipolar Symptoms

Bipolar Symptoms: The SwarmThe Swarm

When it comes to bipolar symptoms, I have yet to see a bullet list as exhaustive as my original.

I tried to find one at the “pros” sites but nothing compared to my own outlined life experiences.

Here are the 85 (!) bipolar symptoms and negative life conditions I’ve experienced:

    • Fear of life, afraid to do anything
    • Addictions, self-medication
    • Pursuit of unhealthy or illogical goals
    • Masochistic characteristics
    • Lack of conscience
    • Panic attacks lasting anywhere from minutes to hours
    • Inability to drive a vehicle:
      • No depth perception
      • Overly expansive perspective of view around car/too much input, world looks too big
      • Inability to judge trajectory
      • Inability to match personal center of gravity with car’s
      • Claustrophobia both in the car and a sense of it from surrounding traffic
      • Overwhelming sense of responsibility
      • Road rage
      • Incapacitating fear of cops
      • Loss of impulse control/ deadly considerations
    • Multiple mental illness diagnoses
    • Overly medicated; mental and physical health problems based on presence of meds alone
    • Sleep disorders
    • Hopelessness
    • Inability to be naturally happy
    • Depression
    • Dissociation/Weirdness/Thousand-yard stare
    • Psychosis
    • Juggling symptoms/Symptoms come and go, morph, vary
    • Mood Swings
    • Despair
    • Loss of identity/No sense of self
    • Suicidal inclinations
    • Failed relationships:
      • Friends, family get worn out dealing with you
    • Inability to hold a job
    • Inability to finish projects
    • Inability to relate to others for any reason:
  • Scare or confuse people without meaning to
  • Hate “normal” people
    • Loss of rational thought, inability to reason
    • Inability to plan ahead, no foresight capabilities
    • Loss of focus
    • Time loses all meaning: something might have happened five seconds ago or ten years ago, you’re not sure
    • Constant rage, rage as a final answer to everything, murder is acceptable and logical in your mind
    • Risk-taking traits, gambling personality, afraid of nothing
    • Can’t stand crowds/claustrophobia and too much data input, too much group energy
    • Eating disorders:
      • Mood can be affected by presence of certain foods or by hunger
      • Crave sweets incessantly
    • Crave caffeine
    • All human life is meaningless, no one matters to you any more, inability to feel compassion
    • Racing thoughts, multiple plot lines running simultaneously in head, all are crystal clear/maddening amount of data to process and it can’t be turned off
    • Ungodly stress:
      • Every, single thing is a major problem in your life, an insurmountable hurdle
      • World comprised totally of problems and drama
    • Flights of ideas based in nothing, springing forth in great detail, many levels deep, with great clarity:
  • Business ideas, inventions, answers to all the world’s problems
  • Mania, boundless energy, unnaturally happy, exuberant, ecstatic
  • Overconfidence, regardless of facts
  • Overly spiritual, a “seeking” persona develops but becomes rampant
  • Multiple arrests, intense hatred of any authority figure
  • Inability to seek help:
    • Hold all pain inside, tell no one
    • Deny problems, avoid fixing them
    • Symptoms come so fast and new, can’t describe properly to others
  • Hate how meds make you feel, side effects worse than original mental illness:
    • too shut down
    • too fat
    • too antsy
    • too lethargic
    • too cloudy
    • too thirsty
    • too hungry
    • too tired
    • too horny
    • not horny enough
    • suicidal
  • Mishandle usage of meds, stop/start, quit/restart. Forget dosage amounts, forget dosing
  • Multiple Emergency Room/Psych Ward visits
  • A fear of being too far from an ER, ever
  • Inability to afford care outside of insurance, can’t try homeopathic or non-traditional methods:
    • No insurance, can’t afford anything at all
  • Inability to care for yourself:
    • don’t bathe regularly
    • don’t clean house
    • don’t do laundry
    • don’t brush teeth
    • don’t exercise
    • don’t cook
    • everything is too impossible to achieve
  • You are a psychic leech, your neediness sucks dry any who try to help, people flee from you, avoid you
  • Loneliness, isolation, reclusiveness – can’t make or keep friends, can’t fit in anymore
  • Scattered thinking, thoughts are all over the place, out of order, and leading nowhere
  • Forgetfulness
  • Stuttering
  • Paranoia
  • You assume everyone is talking about you, can’t trust anyone
  • Conspiracy theories abound in every corner (Big One for bipolar people)
  • PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome):
    • startle easily
    • danger perceived everywhere
    • nerves on high alert at all times
    • can’t relax/feel safe
    • escape routes planned
    • elimination of “enemies” in all group setting planned out in your head
  • Illness makes you a victim for others to take advantage or pick on
  • Youthful energies mislabeled as mental illness out of laziness or need for societal compliance. Process becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy through training and/or meds intake. Never should have been in the first place
  • Massive passion for goals of all kinds
  • Hearing voices, seeing things, hallucinations
  • Easily startled (PTSD or not), nerves always on edge, world too loud, too crass, too sharp, too bright
  • Classified as a dreamer
  • Highly creative, artistic talents higher than normal
  • Can’t maintain skill sets
  • Hate being defined by your illness OR use its existence as a shield, an excuse, a way out of doing other things you don’t like, can’t face but might be able to handle otherwise
  • No tolerance for conflict in any way, shape, or form
  • Overly empathetic, can’t separate yourself from other’s pain, get overly involved where you don’t belong, take on other’s problems
  • You know absolutely everything about whatever the topic. Can’t be dissuaded from your views no matter what, even when obvious evidence points to a different conclusion. Massive rationalization skills
  • The ones you need most to believe in you think you should “snap out of it” and this is killing you -OR- you really think you can or should just “snap out of it”, which is even more tragic
  • Poor physical health adds to mental woes; depression increases, anxiety increases
  • Variety in sexual preferences and partners
  • Sexual disorders:
    • Loss of desire
    • Loss of ability even when desire present
    • Insatiable appetite for sex and staying power that rivals the porn stars’
  • Trust no one in a way that’s different from paranoia. Just makes sense
  • Feeling manipulated by “them,” sense of loss of control over your life
  • In the fight of your life to get help from the various systems in place to do so. Your treatment plan, whatever the type, is constantly in jeopardy of going away, heightening your anxiety
  • Dizziness on surface of facial skin, dizziness at all
  • Loss of balance
  • Constant heartburn
  • All-consuming fear of death
  • Rapid speech
  • Pain is magnified OR unfelt
  • Cutting, burning, or other bodily harm may take place
  • Tell lies even when there’s nothing to gain by doing so
  • Conversely, you tell the truth openly when decorum and tact would dictate you shouldn’t

 

There are more but that should make the point clear. Bipolar symptoms hit you from every conceivable angle. Much of this can be labeled as something other than bipolar symptoms, surely, but only bipolar encompasses this entire lot.

Use this list if you’re unsure what your symptoms may be. Use it to gauge the affect of one with whom you work or live to see if maybe this is them.

But in doing so, please remember, you still need to speak with a doctor to get an official diagnosis. This list is just a guide.

If you already have that diagnosis and/or would rather learn about a possible source of help that is more healthy, then check out my free wellness system!

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