But I eventually realized it would do more good if those wondering what’s what could see all I’d felt.
You’ll find yourself in these symptoms and understand that I may be able to help you.
Because this list is my PAST!
Got it? Good. Carry on!.
Before we begin, is any of this you or someone you care about?
Common Negative Symptoms of Bipolar Disorder
• Fear of life, afraid to do anything
• Addictions, self-medicating
• Pursuit of unhealthy or illogical goals
• Masochistic/Sadistic characteristics
• Lack of conscience
• Panic attacks – lasting minutes to hours
• Inability to drive a vehicle
– No depth perception
– Overly expansive perspective of view around car
– Too much input, world looks too big
– Inability to judge trajectory
– Inability to match personal center of gravity with car’s
– Claustrophobia both in the car and a sense of it from surrounding traffic
– Overwhelming sense of responsibility
– Road rage
– Incapacitating fear of cops
• Loss of impulse control/ deadly considerations
• Multiple mental illness diagnoses
• Overly medicated/mental and physical health problems based on presence of meds alone
• Sleep disorders
• Hopelessness
• Inability to be naturally happy
• Depression
• Dissociation/Weirdness/Thousand-yard stare
• Psychosis
• Juggling symptoms/Symptoms come and go, morph, vary
• Mood Swings
• Despair
• Loss of identity/No sense of self
• Suicidal inclinations
• Failed relationships
– Friends, family get worn out dealing with you
• Inability to hold a job
• Inability to finish projects
• Inability to relate to others for any reason
– Scare or confuse people without meaning to
– Hate “normal” people
• Loss of rational thought, inability to reason
• Inability to plan ahead, no foresight capabilities
• Loss of focus
• Time loses all meaning
• Constant rage
– Rage as a final answer to everything
– Murder is acceptable and logical
• Risk-taking traits ensue, gambling personality emerges, afraid of nothing
• Claustrophobia
– Can’t stand crowds
– Too much data input/sensory overload
– Too much group energy to bear
• Eating disorders
• Mood can be affected by presence of certain foods or by hunger
• Crave sweets incessantly
• Crave caffeine
• All human life is meaningless
– No one matters to you any more
– Inability to feel compassion
• Racing thoughts
– Multiple plot lines running simultaneously in head, all are crystal clear
– Maddening amount of data to process
– And it can’t be turned off
• Ungodly stress
– Every, single thing is a major problem in your life, an insurmountable hurdle
– World comprised totally of problems and drama
• Flights of ideas based in nothing, springing forth in great detail, many levels deep, with great clarity
– Business ideas, inventions, answers to all the world’s problems
• Mania, boundless energy, unnaturally happy, exuberant
• Overconfidence regardless of facts
• Overly spiritual, seeking persona develops but becomes rampant
• Multiple arrests, intense hatred of any authority figure
• Inability to seek help
• Hold all pain inside, tell no one
• Deny problems, avoid fixing them
• Symptoms come so fast and new, can’t describe properly to others
• Hate how meds make you feel, side effects worse than original mental illness, too shut down
• Mishandle usage of meds
– Stop/start, quit/restart
– Forget to take/forget how much to take
• Multiple Emergency Room/Psych Ward visits
– A fear of being too far from an ER, ever
• Inability to care for yourself
– Don’t bathe regularly
– Don’t clean house
– Don’t do laundry
– Don’t brush teeth
– Don’t exercise
– Don’t cook
– Everything is too impossible to achieve
• You are a psychic leech, your neediness sucks dry any who try to help, people flee from you, avoid you
• Loneliness, isolation, reclusiveness
– Can’t make or keep friends
– Can’t fit in anymore
• Scattered thinking, thoughts are all over the place, out of order, and leading nowhere
• Forgetfulness
• Stuttering
• Paranoia
– You assume everyone is talking about you, can’t trust anyone
– Conspiracy theories abound in every corner (Big One for bipolar people)
• PTSD
• Illness makes you a victim for others to take advantage or pick on
• Youthful energies mislabeled as mental illness out of laziness or need for societal compliance
• Process becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy through training and/or meds intake. Never should have been
• Massive passion for goals of all kinds
• Hearing voices, seeing things, hallucinations
• Easily startled
– Nerves always on edge
– World too loud, too crass, too sharp, too bright
• Classified as a dreamer
• Highly creative, artistic talents higher than normal
• Can’t maintain skill sets
• Hate being defined by your illness OR do it on purpose as a way out of doing other things you don’t like, can’t face
• No tolerance for conflict in any way, shape, or form
• Overly empathetic
– Can’t separate yourself from other’s pain
– Get overly involved where you don’t belong
– Take on other’s problems
• You know absolutely everything about whatever the topic
– Can’t be dissuaded from your views no matter what, even when obvious evidence points to a different conclusion
– Massive rationalization skills
• The ones you need most to believe in you think you should “snap out of it” and this is killing you
– Or you really think you can or should just “snap out of it”, which is even more tragic
• Poor physical health adds to mental woes
• Variety in sexual preferences and partners
– Sexual disorders
– Loss of desire
– Loss of ability even when desire present
– Insatiable appetite for sex and staying power rivaling that of a porn stars’
– Deviant desires
• Trust no one in a way that’s different from paranoia. Just makes sense
• Feeling manipulated by “them,” sense of loss of control over your life
• In the fight of your life to get help from the various systems in place to do so
• Dizziness on surface of facial skin
– Dizziness at all
• Loss of balance
• Constant heartburn
• All-consuming fear of death
• Rapid speech
• Pain is magnified OR unfelt
• Cutting, burning, or other bodily harm may take place
• Tell lies even when there’s nothing to gain by doing so
• And there are more symptoms than that
And if you’d like an explicit breakdown of particular symptom sets of bipolar
Then click the link below to read my articles describing each face of bipolar:
Bipolar Disorder: The Lava Lamp Disease
The System’s Steps:
ii. Welcome
iii. The Problems and My Solution
1. Your Actual Guts
2. Friend Fish
3. Wake Up and Calm Down
4. Step Up!
5. Houseclean
6a. You Gonna Eat That?
6b. Walk With Me
7. It’s Cool. Really.
8. Hardware/Software Connection
9. Bend an Ear
10. Friend Pen
Next Step